BREAKING: Cryptocurrency scam leaves hundreds in debt

Several months back, a local “Entrepreneur” by the name of Devious Master made waves in the community with the release of his digital currency Shmoon Coin.

Devious Master has been promoting the exchange of his currency for all things from buying pizzas to virtual land. We are unsure why anybody would want to buy virtual land.

The conversion rate for Shmoon Coin at its peak was nearly $2,000 per Coin (ShC to USD).
According to his official press release/advertisement, “Shmoon is an investment, an escape from the banks being the middleman of your money. For once your money is truly in your control and yours alone”.

On April 1st, 2025, over 50,000,000 Shmoon Coins were removed from users of the SphereChain all across the Globe, causing the largest economic disaster in the history of Shmooblesworld.

Immediately following this catastrophe, Devious Master put out a statement saying “I would never steal from the wonderful people of Shmooblesworld. I wish nothing more than to bring economic liberty to our wonderful world and I am working tirelessly to figure out what caused this calamity”. In the background of the video, can be seen a brand new luxury vehicle which he did not have prior to this event. Devious Master also appears to be wearing a fancy new watch from the brand “Lewis Vuitton”. Devious Master has refused to comment on his ownership of such valuable items, sparking suspicion amongst many investors in Shmoon Coin. More updates to come.

The growing issue of Nears Doppelgangers

Most citizens of Shmooblesworld know about the large extended family of Nears, they are an icon of our community and beloved by all. However, there have been an increasing number of Nears with little distinguishable features from the True Nears.

This has sparked confusions amongst many, including Nears herself. Many actions caused by one of the duplicates have been puzzling, being maligned with how Nears would typically act. People who approach them thinking they are Nears will often be met with confusion as they are not recognized by the duplicate, and on rare occasions, met with hostility and frustration.

Recent Shredder concert RUINED by a grill

 During a concert held by local legend Shredder there was an outbreak of fire in the crowd. Witnesses that an unattended blue grill was tipped over during the middle of the concert causing mass damages and nearly hurting a lot of bystanding Shmoobles.

Thankfully Shredder in his quick thinking used the grill as an end piece for the song and put it out with a sick slide that wowed audience members. This unidentified grill has now been put into custody of local authorities for getting too much ash on the ground and causing a mess for the cleaning lady.

This weeks newsletter was brought to you by The Shmooblesworld Newspaper Club™

Authors: Supierb & CarouselCakes

Editors: mfof

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